i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Randomize