Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
