and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Randomize
