Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
Randomize
