I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Randomize
