I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
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