Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
