THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Randomize