She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
