So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Randomize
