I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
