He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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