The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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