Well apparently he's into motor boating.
he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Randomize
