The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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