whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
We need a shit load of segways right now
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Randomize
