did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
