I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
