hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
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