i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
Randomize
