so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
