I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Randomize
