So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
this will be a night to untag.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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