She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
