Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Randomize
