There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
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