What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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