nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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