her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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