Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Randomize
