the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
no more duck duck goose at the bar
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I came so hard my ears popped.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
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