he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
