Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
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