Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
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