you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
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