So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
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