I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Randomize
