i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
