So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
