I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
