it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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