Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Randomize
