quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I want a musical about memes.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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