guys are not supposed to queef...right?
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
