Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
