i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
My life is pants optional.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
