Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
