Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Randomize
