She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Randomize
