I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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