Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Randomize
