Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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