nut hugger
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Randomize
