I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I just found a bag of teeth...
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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