Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
