What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
