I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Randomize
