So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
barbara walters just said penis...
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
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