I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
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