idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Randomize
