i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Randomize
