There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
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