Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
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