im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
