Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
